When I told my mom & Uncle Rich I wanted to speak at Aunt Barb's funeral, I knew it would be difficult to say everything that I wanted to about Aunt Barby because she was such a special person. She was a loving Mother, Wife, Sister, Aunt, & Friend. Aunt Barby was a generous, loving, and fun person to be around. She had such a wonderful laugh that couldn't help but bring a smile to your face. Aunt Barb had such a positive outlook on things. She knew what to say when you needed comfort and knew when you just needed someone to listen. All of her friends that my mom spoke to this week talked about how Aunt Barby was always accepting of her lot in life, she never complained and was the go to call for help in hard times. She would always tell you it was okay, it would be all right, it was not so bad and you would hang up thinking she was right and your worries would be lessened. We will all miss making that phone call.
Aunt Barby never had it very easy, but you would never know by how she acted. She was only 10 when her mother Pat got sick, and 15 when she passed away. But Aunt Barby never complained. When Uncle Rich had his heart attack, Aunt Barby stood by his side and helped him recover. And still, Aunt Barby never complained. When her oldest sister Patty got sick with the same disease, again Barby never complained. That was the type of person she was. She always tried to keep a positive attitude. That is why as sad as this day is for us, I know in my heart Aunt Barby would not want us to be sad. And if she could be here with us today, she would be comforting us. It's hard for me to remember a time when Aunt Barby wasn't smiling. Even after she got really sick she always greeted her visitors with a smile and a laugh. Aunt Barb had a heart for all, if someone needed something she tried to be there. Aunt Barby was always a lot of fun to be around. She was always trying to think of the next great idea that would make her a million dollars. Some of these ideas were charity T-shirts, dog freeze spray, and even pre J-Lo and the Kardashians she came up with the idea of boochie bottoms-Underwear that had a padded butt. Every time Barby shared these ideas, we all looked at each other and laughed. But the joke's on us, because now all these things are million dollar products. As it turns out, one of her ideas was a million dollar idea, because She was the person who got my mom started on her Ebay business. Some of Aunt Barb's happiest times are when her and Uncle Rich bought the house in Algonquin, had David, and made their life there. She enjoyed her family, her dog Sandy, and being a stay at home Mom for David. David, She loved you with all her heart (which says a lot because Aunt Barby had the biggest heart I've ever seen). She would even get up early to drive David to high school so he could sleep in a little longer; being a newly sleep deprived mom, believe me David that's love! Aunt Barby encouraged Uncle Rich to build a huge swing set for David in their backyard, and picked up her best Garage sale find, the wooden adult swing that saw many years in their backyard. A lot of good times were spent on that swing by many. I only wished I was there when it collapsed with Uncle Rich & Dennis sitting on it. There were wonderful summer barbeques, David's awesome birthday parties with fantastic fireworks, and roaring fires in the fire pit or the family room. She loved her family vacations, in the summer with the Bundalo's at the Sandrift, and in the winter at River's Edge with Dennis and Nancy's family. Aunt Barb had that special vacation with just the girls in Vegas, a real treat for a Mom with all boys at home. Aunt Barby's life was devoted to others. Even her final work as a massage therapist was typical Barby, a job to help people feel better. Our family is a small family, but with a person like Aunt Barb in it, it felt a lot bigger. When I became an Aunt & Godmother, I used Aunt Barby as a role model for the kind of Aunt I wanted to be, because she truly was the best Aunt & Godmother anyone could ever have.
After Aunt Barby got sick, she never complained about being sick. She never once asked “why me?” And in a time when you thought we would be the ones comforting her, she was the one comforting us. When one of her friends took her back to Light of Christ church, and people were saddened to see her condition, she soothed them and asked why they cried she was all right. Her sister-in-law Holly shared a story of how she was so upset to leave Aunt Barby after a visit at Maplewood, that she was the one crying and Aunt Barby was the one comforting her. Once Aunt Barb was at Harbor House, she never thought to ask to go home. So many patients tried to get out, they wanted the passcode for the doors, but Aunt Barby never asked for the code. She accepted her illness and made Harbor House her home.
Aunt Barby touched so many lives, and you can clearly see that by all the things people did for her once she got sick. We thank each and everyone of you for everything you did for my beloved aunt. T hank you to The wonderful people at Harbor House that took such great care of her for two years and truly made it a safe harbor at that time of her life. Thank you to her dear friends who stuck by her and still traveled to see her, to take her out for the day, to do her laundry, brought numerous bibles and prayed with her, and supplied countless hershey bars, Aunt Barby's favorite. All her family members who made the effort to be with her at the Harbor house parties or just dropped in for a visit, often bringing the new baby nieces or nephews to brighten her day. And thank you to Sophie, for her constant cards, letters, and long visits whenever she was in town. They always brought a huge smile to Aunt Barby's face. Sophie, you were her mother's full-time nurse when Aunt Barby was so young, and you've always been like the second mother to Aunt Barbie. And thank you to my mom Cindy who visited Aunt Barby almost daily. Mom you cared for Barby in a way that truly inspired us all. I know Aunt Barby appreciates everything you did for her and is up in Heaven sending thanks to you right now.
Aunt Barby's faith sustained her through her life; she sought comfort in Christ always. Always the good Christian, her car after she was hospitalized was filled with all her Christian Cds she loved, and the final hours of her life she listened to those same songs. In her final months, she was happiest at church services at Manor Care. M y mom would see her through the windows at church services and attended two with her, where she just was a different person; she just lit up. A few weeks ago as she was failing, My mom had an exceptional visit with her where she seemed unusually alert right before Christmas. My mom told her not to be afraid, to let it go. She assured Aunt Barby that we would all take care of David for her and to go rest now and be with her Mom & Dad. She told her she could have the new job in Heaven to look after us all, especially David and the new babies in the family. She looked happy to have that job. My mom was able to tell her how she always admired her, she was truly the Strongest person we ever knew. Aunt Barby smiled and gave my mom a laugh,but yes how strong she was to not complain whatever hell she was going through, to give the disease a good fight and never want to be a burden on anyone.
May this disease never come again to this family, and may we take comfort in her acceptance, her never questioning faith that sustained her to her end, may Barby now rest in peace and look over David and our expanding families in her place in Heaven, where we know she is.
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